Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize