actually, I'm a sock model
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
