Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
