I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
