haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
