this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
She swung at the pinata with crutches
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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