I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
