they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Randomize
