Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
