mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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