your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
