The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Randomize
