you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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