Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
