If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize