no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
