i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
