what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
