Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
