Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Randomize
