i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
