they need to just BURY HIM!
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Randomize
