Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
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