i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
