Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
