All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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