his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
