the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
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