Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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