between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
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I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
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I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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