I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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