sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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