Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
