I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
