I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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