Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Ketchup is God's man juice
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
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