To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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