Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
