So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
