GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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