hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Girls should come with a carfax report
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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