hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
