Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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