Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize