he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
