yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
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