Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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