I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
