Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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