I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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