I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
You've changed since you got that strap on
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
