those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
