Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
he was CRYING into my vagina
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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