We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
