Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize