i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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