You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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