you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
