dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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