I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
