Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Randomize
