I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
how drunk are you?
Several
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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