the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Where is the hickey?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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