Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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